Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Less of You, More of Me

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” 
-C. JoyBell

Happy New Year!  I am more than a little late, but they say better late than never right.  The start of a new year allows us all the opportunity to refocus and remove some of the dead weight that we have allowed to linger in our lives.  So many people are pessimistic about these things that we call "New Year Resolutions," but if you are like me you have to set a starting point to accomplish long term goals.  So, along with the usual resolutions, you know the ones I'm talking about, "I'm going to be summer time fine in the winter, I'm going to start watching what I eat, etc," I decided to use this year to remove dead weight that I have "allowed " to weigh me down for so long.

One of my struggles in life has always been holding onto dysfunctional relationships.  And even though those relationships include my relationships with men that I choose to date, last year helped me to realize that some of those relationships included family.  So, in preparation for completely removing the heavy weights that were sinking my life like an anchor, I begin to prepare for accomplishing my new year's resolutions in advance. 

In order to "set up" my life for the removal of some people closest to me, I had to first begin the ostracizing process.  Over the course of a couple of month, I adjusted living arrangements and life arrangements to sever the ties of dependency that were still linking me to those that I knew needed to go for the sake of my sanity.

I have a habit of allowing people to use me until they use me up.  Well, the bottle is empty and can no longer be refilled.  I am no longer interested in being a vessel for anyone else, but myself.  As I continue to reach pinnacles that I didn't see coming to fruition so soon and accomplishing goal after goal, there are some that will not be allowed to come along for the ride.  You will not ride me until the wheels come off, because from this day forward, I will be the only driver of this passenger-less vehicle. 

I thought that I would be sad and depressed in moving on with my life and leaving some behind, but I am never felt more free.  Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I am free at last.

1. Become Independent
2. Slowly Ostracize Yourself
3. Make Peace with your Decision
4. Let Go