20 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I am a free spirit that loves artistic creativity and am extremely fond of body art.  I will one day be the super sophisticated therapist that removes her trendy blazer and has a full tattoo sleeve.

2. I am slightly egotistical.  Even though I try really hard to understand thoughts and viewpoints that are vastly different from my own, most of the times I just don't get it and won't pretend to.

3.  I wrote Fashionably Deceptive when I was 21 years old, however, I did not publish it until 7 years later.

4. I have not yet grasped the concept of think before you speak and have had to apologize more than once for the not so nice things that come out of my mouth.

5. Even though I can't carry a tune in a bag, I still aspire to be a singer one day.

6.  I have a Masters Degree in Counseling and am currently working towards opening my own private practice. (Don't worry, your secrets won't end up in my next novel)

7.  My next two and a half novels are already written, including the sequel to Fashionably Deceptive, but I have had to make significant updates due to the fact that they were finished years ago.

8.  I am super shy and often come off as being stuck-up and super bitchy, when really I am just waiting for you to talk to me.

9.  I value consistency in my relationships more than love and compromise, which is often the reason that most of them have met their demise.

10.  Somewhere really deep down I am a fitness guru, and I am waiting for the moment to emerge from my cocoon.  (Well really this just means I like thinking about working out and being summer time fine more than I like going to the gym)

11. I am a fashion enthusiast and firmly believe that money can buy me happiness.  I've never stayed sad when I have the means to shop.  It's called retail therapy, duh, but most of us just can't afford it.  You can't compare unhappy celebrities to me, because I'm actually happy most days and usually only sad when I spend my bill money at Asos. (But I be cute tho)

12.  I'm addicted to the Sims and Pinterest.  Don't judge me.  Most artistic minds are slightly delusional and who doesn't want to play God with beings of their own creation and plan their wedding and Vintage Chanel wardrobe even though they're on government salary and single.

13. I don't eat ethnic foods: Chinese, Ethiopian, Thai, Lebanese, etc.

14.  My weakness is men with perfect teeth that smell nice and wear designer shoes.

15.  I have a list of places in the world that I want to visit before I have kids, because I plan on allowing my world to revolve solely around my little people whenever they make their appearance.

16.  I keep a notepad on my nightstand because I often wake up in the middle of the night with ideas that I want to commit to paper before I forget them the next morning.

17.  I have severe insomnia because I can never seem to wind down before bed.  My mind continues to run a mile a minute even when the lights are off and I'm laying in complete darkness.

18.  I am an activist for anyone that has an unfair disadvantage in society whether it be because of their religion, skin color, sexual orientation, disability, etc.  Hence, the reason that I volunteer with different agencies, like juvenile probation and the Montrose Center (Houston's GLBT Youth and Young Adult Facility), to make sure that I will be a well-rounded therapist with a plethora of resources.

19.  My name is pronounced Ta-Nia, not Tonya.

20.  I have severe ADD and have accomplished at least 10 other things while writing this post.

Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Don't

Guilty as charged.  Out of the 100+ books that I have downloaded on my Kindle and/or have on my bookshelf, I have only left a review for maybe 10%.  My reviews, or lack thereof, does not attest to the quality of the book, and there are not any excuses that I can make for not taking 1-2 minutes to let these authors know my thoughts about their works of art.  I'm guilty, guilty as charged. 

So as an author, now that reviews matter, it is almost hypocritical of me to go into an uproar about the fact that out of 2000+ downloads, only 40 readers have left a review on Amazon.  So before I ask for change, it is imperative that I also begin to make changes by practicing this sermon that I'm about to preach.  Reviews are critical to the success of an author, especially a new, unestablished author.  It is reviews that help readers decide whether their $5 will be best spent buying a copy of Fashionably Deceptive or at their favorite fast food restaurant indulging in what they know will be satisfying. 

The old adage, "When you know better, you do better," is only fitting for this situation.  Until I became an

author, I never realized the importance of leaving feedback, especially positive feedback.  It is easier to voice a complaint about a negative appeal to your emotions than sometimes just writing in to say, "Job well done."  It is those job well dones that hold the key to sometimes lifting insecurities and validating that a person has chosen the right path.  I have a confession: Even to this day, I still check the reviews for Fashionably Deceptive multiple times per week, and it was those 4 and 5 star reviews that helped me keep my head up, when I got my first 1 star review.  That 1 star review was a blow to my ego and caused a lot of insecurities to attempt to resurface about whether I should continue writing and striving to become a best-selling author.   Yet, I did not allow negativity to prevail, and allowed the 4 and 5 star reviews that came before and after that to be my motivation.  And when I finally gained the courage to look at other reviews that had been left by that reviewer, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that just about every review that she has ever given has been low.   I can't please everybody, and I try to remain mindful of the fact that my book has sensitive topics that may not appeal to all readers. 

I say all of this to encourage my readers to leave reviews. As I push for a publishing contract from a reputable publishing company, I would like for the reviews from readers to make my voice even louder.  If you have read Fashionably Deceptive, please leave your review.  If you have not read Fashionably Deceptive, read it and leave your review.  If you know someone that would enjoy Fashionably Deceptive, please encourage them to read it and leave their review.  Help me spread the word, and let's push for 100 reviews.  I can not do it without you!  Numbers don't lie.

Get your copy here: Amazon
My favorite reviews go on Pinterest:

Follow Tonia TheAuthor's board Reviews Fashionably Deceptive on Pinterest.

- Tonia

Flawless - Sneak Peak of the Relaunch of ToniatheAuthor.Com

We teach girls to shrink themselves,

to make themselves smaller.

We say to girls,

'You can have ambition,

but not too much.

You should aim to be successful, 

but not too successful.

Otherwise you will threaten the man.'

-Chimamanda Ngozi

The photo shoot was quite an experience, and my glam squad worked for hours to make sure that I was FLAWLESS.  I can't wait to see the final proofs of the pics and for my graphic designer to finish making my website come together.  Stay tuned to my IG page for more pics from the shoot and info about the website relaunch: @toniatheauthor.

- Tonia

Liebster Award

Over the past month, I have begun to blog more to allow readers and other bloggers a more in depth view into my life.  So, I was more than honored to be nominated for the Liebster award by fellow blogger Selina: http://seliscorner.blogspot.co.uk/ .  There are so many great blogs out there, so each follow and comment on my blog means more than I could ever express in words. 

Below are the rules that accompany accepting the Liebster Award: 

1. You must link back to the blogger that nominated you.
2. You have to answer 11 questions that were given to you by the blogger who nominated you.
3. You have to nominate 11 other blogs and set 11 questions for them to answer.
4. You can't nominate the person who nominated you.
5. You have to tell the nominees that they have been nominated by you.

Here are my answers to the questions posed by Selina:

1. What is your favourite perfume at the moment?
Honestly, I don't wear alot of different perfumes, because my nose is really sensitive and I find that perfume scents can be overpowering.  However, I am a Bath and Body works junkie, and anyone that knows me can tell you that my favorite scent of all times is Japanese Cherry Blossom.  I even have the plug ins to permeate my house with this scent.

2. What are the 3 main qualities you look for in a partner?
I love a man that is consistent, has a sense of humor, and that is understanding.  My personality can be very complicated, and I value the man that truly "gets" me.

3. If you wear make up, name one item of make up could you not live without?
I just really started wearing makeup within the past year or so, and I still only will wear it when I go out.  It is definitely not an everyday staple, and I never wear it to work.  However, my makeup essential is my Mac Skinfinish Mineralize power.  It makes my face look FLAWLESS.

4. Which do you prefer Bags, shoes or clothes?
I am something like a shoe whore and have a fetish for overpriced designer shoes.

5. If you had the chance to meet someone famous who would it be?
Even though I could name a handful of attractive men that I would probably like to meet, I think at this stage in my life, Iyanla Vanzant might be a good option.  I could use some "life fixing."  One of my biggest personality flaws is that I am not very forgiving, and that can be hindering.

6. Favourite season & why?
Since, I am a fan of any beautiful beach, my favorite season would have to be summer.  In the summertime, I am off work and love to travel to tropical places where clothing is minimal.

7. Who is your favourite style icon?

As an avid pinner on Pinterest, there are several fashionistas that I channel when selecting outfits: Rihanna, Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian, etc. However, one of my all time favorites is fellow blogger Karla Deras.

8. If you had £100,000 what would you do with it?
I would put pay off my debt, put a large down payment on a condo, find an investor to make some wise investments, and spend a month taking a budget vacation to get some writing done.  And no, I wouldn't quit my job.

9. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would like to take a tour of Europe: Paris, London, Greece, Italy, etc.

10. What is your favourite clothing brand?
I do not have a favorite clothing brand, however, my favorite place to shop is Asos.

11. Describe yourself in 3 words?
Creative, Determined, Complex

My 11 Liebster Award Nominees:

Billy: http://blackwithenvy.blogspot.com/

Tea: http://teapoljak.blogspot.com/

Sarah: http://alittlebitofliterature.blogspot.com/

Channie: http://channieonthecover.blogspot.com/

Simone: http://www.thirtysomethingoap.co.uk/

Jessica: http://www.lookwhatigot.co.uk/

Danielle: http://frontiere-girl.blogspot.com/

Alissa: http://rcsn.blogspot.com/

Shanika: http://shanika-says.blogspot.com/

Hannah: http://hannahmckeever.blogspot.com/

Sharon: http://www.thriftmystyle.com/

My 11 questions for my nominees are:

1. What is your dream accomplishment?
2. What famous individual has served as an inspiration to you?
3. What is your biggest personality flaw?
4. If you could recieve an expense paid vacation to anywhere in the world, where would it be?
5. If you had $100,000, what would you do with it?
6. What types of items are your biggest splurge?
7. What characteristics would your ideal mate have to possess?
8. What do you think is the biggest hinderance to success in your dream field?
9. What is one cause that you are passionate about and why (community service, activist, etc)?
10. What are your favorite leisure activites?
11. What factors contributed to you becoming a blogger?

-Tonia

Pinspiration

"Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman."

- CoCo Chanel

As I focus on the rebranding of Tonia, the author, and begin to spend more time networking with individuals of like minds, I have begun to rely almost solely on Pinterest, my secret addiction, to keep me stylish and fabulous in the public eye.  For those of you that are not familiar with Pinterest, it is a pin-board style photo sharing website that allows users to strategically group photos onto custom made boards. Thanks to Pinterest, I have planned my wedding, babyshower, decorated my dream home, and planned my 30th birthday party, even though I am not anywhere near marriage, pregnant, rich, or quite near 30.  You can call it delusional, but I would just call it being proactive.

Visit Tonia TheAuthor's profile on Pinterest.

Until recently though, the only board that I had actually put to use had been my recipe board.  I think that I am something like a Chef Roble when I step into the kitchen, even if I'm only boiling water for my nightly tea. However, the recent influx in networking events and mingling with the trying to be rich and famous has caused a surge in my Pinterest usage and inspired the idea of #Pinspiration.

I did not coin the term #Pinspiration, however it has become a integral part of my life.  If you have read past blogs, then you are aware that my time for things that are not business or branding related is extremely limited.  Before #Pinspiration, I often caught myself at the mall on borrowed time trying to put together a outfit for an same day event that I found out about last minute.  However, three significant things have led to a drastic change in my preparation process:

1. Rebranding has cut my shopping budget down significantly
2. My three closets and dresser are over capacity
3. I was one outfit away from being the next star on Confession of a Shopaholic

As these three things begin to sit on the forefront of my mind, I had a strike of genius.  I decided to put my fashion Pinterest board to use.  Instead of spending my limited time and funds at the mall or online shopping, I made the decision to use Pinterest and my current wardrobe to recreate fashionable outfits. Follow my ToniatheAuthor Instagram page to see all of my #Pinspiration recreations!


Tonia The Author

-Tonia

Fine as Vintage Wine

"Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes." -Robert Hutchins

Every time that someone overhears one of my conversations about working out or committing to a healthier lifestyle, it is always followed by the same types of comments, "But why, you're so small? You need to eat, etc."  This is just another example of the double standards that seem to plague society.  My slender build suggests that I am a workout guru, food deprived, and starving for more than affection.  However, if I was to respond to an overweight person with, "Maybe I should eat some of your lunch chunky monkey, because you don't need it," I would be escorted to HR trying to plead my case.  The skinny girl battle is one that I have fought all of my life, and I don't think anyone but another skinny girl, can relate to the struggles of gaining healthy weight.

Currently, I am 5'4, 108 pounds.  Even my mere 108 lbs can be viewed as an accomplishment, because the freshman 10 lbs that was promised to me in college decided that I wasn't worthy.  It wasn't until I hit my 20's that for the first time in my life, I was able to reach a weight over 100 lbs.  Ideally, I would like to be between 115-120 lbs, but this has been more than a difficult feat.  Anytime that I have come anywhere near my desired weight, I get food poisoning, suffer from a bad breakup, become overtaken by stress at work, or some other ailment that snatches my lbs off like I owe money.

Along with thousands of others, wellness and fitness were part of my New Years Resolution.  I started off hitting the gym hard everyday for cardio and abs and was enjoying my newfound energy.  However, when my work schedule increased, my workouts decreased and next thing I knew, I was back to being a sofa bum after work.  However, I had gained weight, my appetite was healthy, and I was enjoying the way that I had started to fill out my clothes.  And then the inevitable happened.  A bout of food poisoning would sweep through after Valentine's Day and literally shake me back down to size.

So, for the month of March, I have picked up a challenge that many have already started and quit since their New Year resolution inception date.  My schedule rarely allows time for careful meal preparation in conjunction with a workout schedule, so I have joined many other Americans and turned to a meal preparation company.  These companies prepare your meals for the week and restore a piece of your schedule, in return for a piece of your paycheck.  As a picky eater, my weekly dinner choices are going to be limited to tilapia and chicken, but that has to be better for my new workout plan than one of the normal heavy pasta or red meat dishes that I usually whip up following a day saving the world, one child at a time.

In my delusional mind, I pictured myself having a six-pack for my photo shoot this coming weekend, but just like about every other woman in America, I have perfected the suck-in (yes, skinny girls can have a little pooch too).  So, tonight when you get ready to go to bed, say a little prayer for me and my fitness aspirations, because I'm going to need it.  After my initial 30 days of working out, I will start posting pictures of my progress on my IG page, ToniatheAuthor.  They say it takes 30 days to form a habit, so let's hope that they are right (whoever "they" are).  And if you don't see any shirtless pics on my IG page in April, that means I've probably fell my ass off the bandwagon (insert clenched teeth emoji).

Tonia

To Publish or not to Publish

Many of you do not know me personally, and therefore, are not familiar with the many hats that I wear on a daily basis.  In order to help you understand the complexity of my life, let me first tell you a little bit about me, outside of just being an author.  While I am attempting at making a name for myself in the literary world, I am also an educator, counselor, coach, after school program cooking instructor,  and youth activist. Most of my work days are 10 hours or longer, and more times than not, I am forced to take work home.  Even though I stopped grading papers at home after shaking off my newbie teacher wings, I have my hands in almost everything that goes on at my campus....I'm the sponsor of our girl's club that helps to build character and resilience among impoverished adolescent girls, I write and direct our annual black history program, I am the go-to unofficial counselor for grade levels 6, 7, and 8, and there is always planning, plotting, or organizing that takes place after regular work hours.  I think I forgot to mention that I am also studying to take my LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) exam in June, so that I can own my own practice at 30.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.  If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.  Go out and get busy." -Dale Carnegie

And on top of all of this, I still believe in my dream enough to keep writing, keep grinding, and keep pushing to satisfy my loyal readers and hook new ones.  I've known for a while that I would only be able to play superwoman for so long, and I have forfeited sleep gladly.  However, there comes a point when you must refocus and re-stratergize to help reach the goals that you have set forth to achieve. 

Through self-publishing and launching my first novel, I have realized that there is much about the book industry that I do not know like, how many novels does it take to become a bestseller, what are the best ways to market a novel for an unknown author, who should I be networking with to launch my novel into the next selling bracket, etc.  I have made many mistakes and had to learn a lot of hard lessons along the way, but that has not detoured me from continuing to write and push sales.  However, I want more for my novel and more for my readers. 

The urban fiction market is becoming over saturated with poorly edited, rushed release novels making it hard for new authors to gain recognition and a fan base of readers.  Let's face it, the reality is that readers would rather spend their hard earned money on authors that have already proven themselves in the industry.  Don't forget that I am a reader too.  And since I don't #writetoeat, I #teachtoeat, unfortunately, I don't have the time or resources to spend selling books out of my trunk 12 hours a day until I've sold enough books to get put on the map.

It is my longing to be a successful author and my limited amount of time that are starting to sway my mind towards seeking a major publishing contract.  When I first set out to release Fashionably Deceptive, I was offered a contract, but I quickly declined after reading that I would basically have to sign my life away.  That reason, along with the advice of other authors that felt they had been duped into selling their soul, quickly had me all gun-hoe for self-publishing.  However, the reality is quite bleak.  I don't have the resources, the time, or the unlimited funds to continue pushing quality novels and still remain focused on accomplishing dreams more pressing than my book career, at this point.

 

So, this weekend I did the inevitable.  I decided to halt editing and graphic designs for A Fashionable Revelation (no death threats please) and seek publishing from a major company.  I can admit that I am afraid of the future, because I am leery of a publishing contract, but I am also leery of continuing to half-invest my time and energy in my writing.  My readers and my writing career deserve so much more.  Contracts are negotiable, and I have one of the best entertainment contract lawyers on hand, but how much am I willing to sacrifice in pursuit of my dream?  Am I willing to give away all the rights to my book with limited royalties to become a best selling author?  Will my sacrifices pay off in the end? 

 

 

God, I am putting it in your hands, however, I will not allow my time to be idle.  Over the next couple of  months while I wait for a response from publishing companies, I will still be promoting Fashionably Deceptive and building my brand.  People will have a more in depth look into my life: the woman, the youth activist, the aspiring fashionista, the educator, and the counselor in the making.  Stay tuned for this is only the beginning.....

Tonia