Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Nothing Was the Same

I still been plotting on the low
Schemin on the low
The furthest thing from perfect
Like everyone I know


Plotting on the Low
As I read the literary works of authors like Jodi Picoult, Eric Weber, Kwan, etc. it makes me realize the importance of always striving to perfect your craft.  So in the midst of preparing for the launch of #AFashionableRevelation, I have decided to further my education through Creative Writing courses.  I don't aspire to be merely a good writer, I aspire to be the best.  So, I will continue to plot my course according to my future aspirations.  Just because you see me in the club asking for water, so I can roll harder, doesn't mean that I am not constantly strategizing to become the next big author.

Schemin on the Low
And with my status bar set higher than most, I realize that it will take more than greatness to make Tonia the Author a household name.  I can admit than I am outspoken amongst my group of friends, but I am shy when it comes to being placed in a room of unfamiliar faces.  It seems that every big author started off pushing books out of their trunks, but I shy away at the idea of being rejected or turned away from a potential customer.  However, I realize that a closed mouth will not get fed, so I am finally ready to put on my big girl panties and open my mouth to sell this dream of mine.  Men do it all the time, and I can guarantee that I can offer a better product than most of them are pushing. ;)

The Furthest Thing from Perfect (Like Everyone I Know)
As delusional as I am (that's what makes me a great writer), I still recognize that I am just as flawed as the next individual.  Yet, even with all of my imperfections and insecurities, I am on the way to living my dreams.  And the reality is that whether I am loved or hated, I will be recognized and remembered for being the great writer that I am destined to become......June 29th (Book Release Day) will always be a day to remember, and nothing has been the same since .....


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Doing It Wrong

June 29th marked the start of the first day of my life... As cliche as that may sound, it is my inevitable truth.  If I never publish another book, the fact still remains that on that day I became a published author, entreprenuer, and small business owner.  Boy, do I look good on paper... (*pats self on back).  I am no longer just Tonia, the imaginative girl with the cynical sense of humor, I am the woman that went out on a limb, spent every extra dollar, nickel, and penny that I did and DID NOT have, and put together a fantabulous book release event at a premiere venue to match the masterpiece of a novel that I finally decided to publish after 6 years.  Everytime that I tell someone that I wrote a novel (which is rarely, because I often forget), I am usually met with a wide eyed stare followed by, "That's amazing.  I have never met anyone that wrote a novel."  And may I add in that this same novel, that I was petrified to publish, has stellar 5 star reviews on Amazon.  A certain football somebody even thought that my accomplishment was so noteworthy, that he graced my friends and I with two bottles of premium libations for my "out of the ordinary" achievement.    You would think that life is great, that I am living my dreams being #richforever, #poppingbottles, #twerkingonweekdays, #throwingitinthebag, #rockingVersaceVersace, and all of the other coonery that accompanies being rich and famous.

However, the reality is that this imaginative girl with the flames shooting from her fingers and three books in her reserve has no idea what she is doing.  My book release was absolutely phenomenal, my Amazon reviews have not seen a star under 5, and my fans are raving, but the reality is that I have no earthly idea what I am supposed to be doing next in this process.  How do I sell my masterpiece in a market oversaturated by other writers that share the same sentiment about their works of art (whether justified or not), and overcome my fear of facing a room full of black women engaging in a therapeutic ritual known as "beauty shop day" to give my speil on purchasing my novel?  Oh, how I envy the boudain and CD/DVD man that has no problem sauntering in on my therapeutic salon days to offer me the latest Kevin Hart movie or that Drake that hasn't even hit the shelves yet. 

You can't tell me that I wasn't born to write... Even though my closest friends were pleasantly surprised that I was able to produce a "real" novel almost effortlessly, I have been writing since I was a child.  While other kids were playing outside soaking up the rays, I was somewhere tucked away with either a novel or a pen allowing my thoughts to run rampant and escaping into whatever magical place my imagination felt the need to contrive.  I might not be able to dribble down the court or even run a half a lap, but give me a pen and paper and I can show you some things.  Yet, here I sit, with a five star book, no dollars, and a dream, without the slightest clue of how to sell books outside of my local fanbase.  When you say your prayers tonight, please send one up for me, because I refuse to be a coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been.....  Right now, I may be doing it wrong, because of my fear of failing at doing it right, but keep watching, because I will be something different....