Monday, March 24, 2014

The Law of Attraction

“When you concentrate your energy purposely on the future possibility that you aspire to realize, your energy is passed on to it and makes it attracted to you with a force stronger than the one you directed towards it.”  - Steven Richards
Do you believe in the law of attraction?  Is it possible that our mind is so powerful that our perceptions can become reality?  Does your negative thinking have a negative impact on your life?  Do the rich and successful stay rich and successful because they wholeheartedly believe in their abilities?

The world's best kept secret, the law of attraction, is not really a secret anymore.  If you have not read the book or watched the movie, The Secret, the chances are great that you have probably heard of it.  According to the ideology behind this self help book pinned by Rhonda Byrne, positive thinking can create increased wealth, health, and happiness.  Byrne believes and promotes a three step creative process for accomplishing your goals: Ask, Believe, and Recieve. 

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:22)

Gratitude and visualization are the two powerful processes behind the Law of Attraction.  Be grateful for the things that you have yet to recieve and visualize these achievements into existence.

For example:  Let's say that you are seeking a job promotion.  According to the Law of Attraction, by having positive thoughts about that promotion and being grateful like its already obtained will spread that energy into the air.  Start preparing yourself for that promotion, and the law of attraction will rearrange events in your life to make that happen.  In laments terms, claim your heart desires, believe in your goals and abilities, and they will manifest themselves in your favor.

So the question becomes, it is because we doubt ourselves and our ability that we are not able to accomplish our goals?  Is it the negativity that we put into the air that inhibits our accomplishments?  Is it that many successful people are arrogant and cocky, or is it that they've realized that believing in yourself draws success into your life? 

Many pastors have preached about the power in the tongue, having faith, and not speaking negativity into existence.  In my mind, this is the same concept as The Law of Attraction.  Many times we diminish our values with our self doubt.  "I think I can get this job promotion, but I know there are many other people more qualified than I am.  I want to buy a house next year, but I probably will not be qualified.  I want to fall in love, but all men are the same.  I would like to travel more, but I don't have the time or money."

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

I am sure that I am not the only one guilty of questioning their ability.  I have realized that I am qualified in several areas, well-educated, and fairly competent.  However, I find myself using that "but" rationale frequently.  Example:  "I would start applying for school counseling jobs in other districts, but we just got this new pay raise."  Between my content with consistency and fear of failure, I have allowed myself to remain stagnant in not only my career, but also my personal life.   Let's not forget that it took 7 years for me to publish my first novel, Fashionably Deceptive.  However, I am slowly trying to alleviate the word "but" from my vocabulary.  When there are goals and dreams that you feel destined to achieve, there should be no "buts" about what God has for you.  The word "but" negates everything that came before it. 

The Law of Attraction almost sounds to simple to be realistic, but how many of us can actually believe in our heart's desires without allowing that evil thing called self-doubt to creep into your mind?  Let's try it.  Think about something that you want more than anything in this world.  Now, that you have that pictured, did reasons why you can't recieve or accomplish that thing also seep into your mind right behind it?  More than likely, the answer is yes. 

I'm striving to become more mindful of the negativity that I speak from my mouth and/or think in my head in regards to my achievements. I've found an accountability partner/motivator to help correct my vision when I start throwing around that nasty word "but" around or not believing that my dreams and goals will/can manifest themselves. 

"Because you have little faith," he said. "I assure you that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Go from here to there,' and it will go. There will be nothing that you can't do." (Matthew 17:20)

Even the bible states that your belief in yourself is strong enough to move mountains.  And I would like to think that these mountains are really just the different types of adversity that you sometimes have to face in the pursuit of happiness.

The biggest fan that you have, besides God, that has the biggest impact over your life is YOU.  If you don't believe in yourself, who will.  As my college roommate once said, "If I don't lie to me, who will?"  Start believing in your competency, abilities, and the blessings that are set forth for you, and you would be surprised in the things that can happen.  Keep doubting yourself and you will keep getting the same thing you've been getting.  At the end of the day, even if the Law of Attraction is just merely a myth, a positive outlook on life almost always leads to happiness anyway. 

“Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.”  -Rodolfo Costa

photo credit: devilicious.symphonick via photopin cc

Monday, March 10, 2014

20 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I am a free spirit that loves artistic creativity and am extremely fond of body art.  I will one day be the super sophisticated therapist that removes her trendy blazer and has a full tattoo sleeve.
2. I am slightly egotistical.  Even though I try really hard to understand thoughts and viewpoints that are vastly different from my own, most of the times I just don't get it and won't pretend to.
3.  I wrote Fashionably Deceptive when I was 21 years old, however, I did not publish it until 7 years later.
4. I have not yet grasped the concept of think before you speak and have had to apologize more than once for the not so nice things that come out of my mouth.
5. Even though I can't carry a tune in a bag, I still aspire to be a singer one day.
6.  I have a Masters Degree in Counseling and am currently working towards opening my own private practice. (Don't worry, your secrets won't end up in my next novel)
7.  My next two and a half novels are already written, including the sequel to Fashionably Deceptive, but I have had to make significant updates due to the fact that they were finished years ago.
8.  I am super shy and often come off as being stuck-up and super bitchy, when really I am just waiting for you to talk to me.
9.  I value consistency in my relationships more than love and compromise, which is often the reason that most of them have met their demise.
10.  Somewhere really deep down I am a fitness guru, and I am waiting for the moment to emerge from my cocoon.  (Well really this just means I like thinking about working out and being summer time fine more than I like going to the gym)
11. I am a fashion enthusiast and firmly believe that money can buy me happiness.  I've never stayed sad when I have the means to shop.  It's called retail therapy, duh, but most of us just can't afford it.  You can't compare unhappy celebrities to me, because I'm actually happy most days and usually only sad when I spend my bill money at Asos. (But I be cute tho)
12.  I'm addicted to the Sims and Pinterest.  Don't judge me.  Most artistic minds are slightly delusional and who doesn't want to play God with beings of their own creation and plan their wedding and Vintage Chanel wardrobe even though they're on government salary and single.
13. I don't eat ethnic foods: Chinese, Ethiopian, Thai, Lebanese, etc.
14.  My weakness is men with perfect teeth that smell nice and wear designer shoes.
15.  I have a list of places in the world that I want to visit before I have kids, because I plan on allowing my world to revolve solely around my little people whenever they make their appearance.
16.  I keep a notepad on my nightstand because I often wake up in the middle of the night with ideas that I want to commit to paper before I forget them the next morning.
17.  I have severe insomnia because I can never seem to wind down before bed.  My mind continues to run a mile a minute even when the lights are off and I'm laying in complete darkness.
18.  I am an activist for anyone that has an unfair disadvantage in society whether it be because of their religion, skin color, sexual orientation, disability, etc.  Hence, the reason that I volunteer with different agencies, like juvenile probation and the Montrose Center (Houston's GLBT Youth and Young Adult Facility), to make sure that I will be a well-rounded therapist with a plethora of resources.
19.  My name is pronounced Ta-Nia, not Tonya.
20.  I have severe ADD and have accomplished at least 10 other things while writing this post.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Don't

review, fashionably deceptive

Guilty as charged.  Out of the 100+ books that I have downloaded on my Kindle and/or have on my bookshelf, I have only left a review for maybe 10%.  My reviews, or lack thereof, does not attest to the quality of the book, and there are not any excuses that I can make for not taking 1-2 minutes to let these authors know my thoughts about their works of art.  I'm guilty, guilty as charged. 

So as an author, now that reviews matter, it is almost hypocritical of me to go into an uproar about the fact that out of 2000+ downloads, only 40 readers have left a review on Amazon.  So before I ask for change, it is imperative that I also begin to make changes by practicing this sermon that I'm about to preach.  Reviews are critical to the success of an author, especially a new, unestablished author.  It is reviews that help readers decide whether their $5 will be best spent buying a copy of Fashionably Deceptive or at their favorite fast food restaurant indulging in what they know will be satisfying. 

The old adage, "When you know better, you do better," is only fitting for this situation.  Until I became an
review, fashionably deceptive
author, I never realized the importance of leaving feedback, especially positive feedback.  It is easier to voice a complaint about a negative appeal to your emotions than sometimes just writing in to say, "Job well done."  It is those job well dones that hold the key to sometimes lifting insecurities and validating that a person has chosen the right path.  I have a confession: Even to this day, I still check the reviews for Fashionably Deceptive multiple times per week, and it was those 4 and 5 star reviews that helped me keep my head up, when I got my first 1 star review.  That 1 star review was a blow to my ego and caused a lot of insecurities to attempt to resurface about whether I should continue writing and striving to become a best-selling author.   Yet, I did not allow negativity to prevail, and allowed the 4 and 5 star reviews that came before and after that to be my motivation.  And when I finally gained the courage to look at other reviews that had been left by that reviewer, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that just about every review that she has ever given has been low.   I can't please everybody, and I try to remain mindful of the fact that my book has sensitive topics that may not appeal to all readers. 

review, fashionably deceptive
I say all of this to encourage my readers to leave reviews. As I push for a publishing contract from a reputable publishing company, I would like for the reviews from readers to make my voice even louder.  If you have read Fashionably Deceptive, please leave your review.  If you have not read Fashionably Deceptive, read it and leave your review.  If you know someone that would enjoy Fashionably Deceptive, please encourage them to read it and leave their review.  Help me spread the word, and let's push for 100 reviews.  I can not do it without you!  Numbers don't lie.

Get your copy here: Amazon
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Follow Tonia TheAuthor's board Reviews Fashionably Deceptive on Pinterest.

- Tonia

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Flawless - Sneak Peak of the Relaunch of ToniatheAuthor.Com

We teach girls to shrink themselves,
to make themselves smaller.
We say to girls,
'You can have ambition,
but not too much.
You should aim to be successful, 
but not too successful.
Otherwise you will threaten the man.'
-Chimamanda Ngozi

The photo shoot was quite an experience, and my glam squad worked for hours to make sure that I was FLAWLESS.  I can't wait to see the final proofs of the pics and for my graphic designer to finish making my website come together.  Stay tuned to my IG page for more pics from the shoot and info about the website relaunch: @toniatheauthor.

- Tonia

Monday, March 3, 2014

Liebster Award

Over the past month, I have begun to blog more to allow readers and other bloggers a more in depth view into my life.  So, I was more than honored to be nominated for the Liebster award by fellow blogger Selina: .  There are so many great blogs out there, so each follow and comment on my blog means more than I could ever express in words. 

Below are the rules that accompany accepting the Liebster Award: 

  1. You must link back to the blogger that nominated you.
  2. You have to answer 11 questions that were given to you by the blogger who nominated you.
  3. You have to nominate 11 other blogs and set 11 questions for them to answer.
  4. You can't nominate the person who nominated you.
  5. You have to tell the nominees that they have been nominated by you.

Here are my answers to the questions posed by Selina:

1. What is your favourite perfume at the moment?
Honestly, I don't wear alot of different perfumes, because my nose is really sensitive and I find that perfume scents can be overpowering.  However, I am a Bath and Body works junkie, and anyone that knows me can tell you that my favorite scent of all times is Japanese Cherry Blossom.  I even have the plug ins to permeate my house with this scent.

2. What are the 3 main qualities you look for in a partner?
I love a man that is consistent, has a sense of humor, and that is understanding.  My personality can be very complicated, and I value the man that truly "gets" me.

3. If you wear make up, name one item of make up could you not live without?
I just really started wearing makeup within the past year or so, and I still only will wear it when I go out.  It is definitely not an everyday staple, and I never wear it to work.  However, my makeup essential is my Mac Skinfinish Mineralize power.  It makes my face look FLAWLESS.

4. Which do you prefer Bags, shoes or clothes?
I am something like a shoe whore and have a fetish for overpriced designer shoes.

5. If you had the chance to meet someone famous who would it be?
Even though I could name a handful of attractive men that I would probably like to meet, I think at this stage in my life, Iyanla Vanzant might be a good option.  I could use some "life fixing."  One of my biggest personality flaws is that I am not very forgiving, and that can be hindering.

6. Favourite season & why?
Since, I am a fan of any beautiful beach, my favorite season would have to be summer.  In the summertime, I am off work and love to travel to tropical places where clothing is minimal.

7. Who is your favourite style icon?
As an avid pinner on Pinterest, there are several fashionistas that I channel when selecting outfits: Rihanna, Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian, etc. However, one of my all time favorites is fellow blogger Karla Deras.

8. If you had £100,000 what would you do with it?
I would put pay off my debt, put a large down payment on a condo, find an investor to make some wise investments, and spend a month taking a budget vacation to get some writing done.  And no, I wouldn't quit my job.

9. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would like to take a tour of Europe: Paris, London, Greece, Italy, etc.

10. What is your favourite clothing brand?
I do not have a favorite clothing brand, however, my favorite place to shop is Asos.

11. Describe yourself in 3 words?
Creative, Determined, Complex

My 11 Liebster Award Nominees:

My 11 questions for my nominees are:
  1. What is your dream accomplishment?
  2. What famous individual has served as an inspiration to you?
  3. What is your biggest personality flaw?
  4. If you could recieve an expense paid vacation to anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  5. If you had $100,000, what would you do with it?
  6. What types of items are your biggest splurge?
  7. What characteristics would your ideal mate have to possess?
  8. What do you think is the biggest hinderance to success in your dream field?
  9. What is one cause that you are passionate about and why (community service, activist, etc)?
  10. What are your favorite leisure activites?
  11. What factors contributed to you becoming a blogger?